13 November 2008

In other election news...

Well, well. A hearty ironic congratulations and a sarcastic slow clap to Vanessa Sievers, the 20-year-old Dartmouth College junior who ran for treasurer of Grafton County, NH, and won. The defeated three-term Republican incumbent, 68-year-old Carol Elliott, protested that Ms. Sievers won only because "brainwashed college kids" voted Democratic, and referred to the student as a "teenybopper." And rightly so. This uppity youngster is so childish that insults and name-calling are really the only appropriate responses from a 68-year-old woman.

The success of Ms. Sievers, who essentially bought the election with a $51 advertisement on something called Facebook (the worst kind of rampant campaign spending), is symptomatic of a larger threat; namely, the growing sentiment among young people that it would be a good idea to get involved in their communities and work to better what they see as flaws in the system. These students, with their elitist Ivy League educations and their aspirations to become productive members of society, are simply part of the problem. At a time when the country is in crisis and the world is mere weeks away from a sweeping revolution in American politics, the last thing we need is young people "getting involved" and bringing "fresh ideas" to the table. Do us all a favor: Stay at home and play with your Facetubes and your Super Grand Theft Mario cartridges, and stop trying to improve things all the time. Forcing out complacent officeholders with outdated ideas who don't appreciate the opinions of young adults is no way to respect your elders.

And as for you, Ms. Sievers, enjoy it while you can. If you and your college buddies think you can get far in this world with youthful enthusiasm, determination and a genuine interest in politics, you truly are brainwashed. Because we prefer things the way they've always been and the way we've been told they're supposed to be.
Before you comment, please understand that this text is from 23/6, a sarcastic political humor website. And re the "slow clap" reference, see the post below this...

1 comment:

  1. But...but...this was HILARIOUS! I was laughing through the whole thing!

    Actually, we do need young people to get involved, and I mean totally, which means they need to research the issues and make selections based on facts and ideas, not just empty promises and a clever saying.

    (What the heck am I complaining about here? Half the nation was bamboozled by empty promises and a clever saying!)

    But truly, I welcome our young involving themselves in politics.

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